Todo....I don't think we're in Kansas anymore...

So we’ve had a bit of an adventure this past week or so. We went to Cairns because apparently it’s the number 1 vacation spot in Australia. I HAVE NO CLUE WHY. It was exactly like Panama City Beach at the Holiday Inn at spring break……except the water isn’t as pretty and there’s no beach. Oh and it rains all the time. Long story short, I was not pleased. It’s one of those things that can be fun for about 2 days, and then you’re seriously over it. Anyway, we decided that we should not have one unhappy moment on our aussie adventure, so we moved on, AGAIN. And we went north, AGAIN. Now we are in Port Douglas, which is B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!

So we get here and decide that it’s a great idea to camp out….in a tent……in the land of all things that can kill you. So we rent our little tent and we’re oh so excited because we’re being outdoorsy and getting in touch with nature. Turns out, I don’t like nature all that much. But after 22 years of waiting to camp (you can stop worrying now Mama Kay) I finally fulfilled my dream. I’m not sure if any of you have ever slept in a tent, much less one in the middle of Aussie land, but it goes a little something like this….

1. If you are awoken by 100 degree sauna type heat at 8 am every day, you might be camping in Australia…

2. If you go to the beach at noon so you can take a nap because it’s cooler than your current sleeping arrangements, you might be camping in Australia

3. If you are accosted my cat sized rodents in the middle of the night, you might be camping in Australia

4. If there are 55 new bug bites all over your body that weren’t there when you went to sleep, you might be camping in Australia

5. If you would rather risk permanent bladder injury than walk the 30 feet to the bathroom in case you run into any of the thousands of things that can kill you, You might be camping in Australia

6. And finally, if you don’t need a washing machine because all of your clothes get soaked by the river of water that flows in during rain storms, you are definitely camping in Australia.

As you can see, I was not a happy camper….literally.

After we were awoken at 8 am yesterday by the oh so blessed sun, we did our Daintree rainforest and Cape tribulation trips. Daintree is the oldest rainforest in the world and MAN is it huge. We went on a croc cruise so that Jill could face her fears but we only saw a baby one…so not all that exciting. We kept driving and looking for more and as soon as the tour guide said, “This is a great spot for larger crocs to live…” we heard “Oh shit.” The boat was stuck. Not like a little bit….we were in mud. I’m thinking maybe we shouldn’t have had such a big lunch. Then everyone was running to the front…then the back…then the front. again trying to move the boat. I was sure we were going to have to wade through the croc infested waters…..it seems to be our luck.

We survived and spent the whole next day at the beach. And I mean the whole day, I mean

we had to get SOME sleep. We decided to go out to the bars (because that’s our answer to everything) and somehow ended up at toad races. Then we are sitting waiting to watch and the next thing I know I’m up on stage, and have earned the title of official scorekeeper of the Ironbar Cane toad race. It’s quite an honor. (But I was more excited about the free beer) The announcer did have a field day with us though…..after he thanked us for bringing them the global financial crisis, he was shocked to learn that I could actually write, despite the fact that I attended college in Mississippi. So, all in all, successful weekend.

Now we’re off to Mission Beach…….can’t wait to see what kind of jokes the gods have planned for me this time……..